I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Reggie can tackle my bush.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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