Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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