Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
