Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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