When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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