Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
