Your face is a jimmy john
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize