I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
