Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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