But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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