you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Ladies don't puke and tell
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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