I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
