Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
