Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
