when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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