HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
