New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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