i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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