there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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