I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
