Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
