i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
