the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
