Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize