How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
