i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i just wanna soil my oats bro
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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