kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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