i think i have herpe
just one?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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