Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
