Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
