On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
