she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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