whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
