You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
