help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize