No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He did a backflip because drugs
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