Me too!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize