i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
