I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
