what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
