working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize