I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
