allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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