my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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