it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
