i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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