I need help removing her.
I need to stop coming to work sober
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
