I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
