Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
