can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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