Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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