I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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