You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
