So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize