My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize