I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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