I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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