i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
