So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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